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Classical Geek jokes

Ah, there’s nothing quite like the geek joke. When you hear one, you’re torn between not wanting to look stupid and not wanting to look too smart! I’ve heard a lot of them in my time, and thought I’d share some of my favorites with you here.

There are 10 kinds of people in this world. Those who understand binary, and those who don’t.

Not only does this joke require some small bit of knowledge to get, but this classic example of the geek joke even refers to the separation between those who will get the joke and the rest of humanity. Not a bad start.

Three statisticians go hunting. When they see a rabbit, the first one shoots, missing it on the left. The second one shoots and misses it on the right. The third one shouts: “We’ve hit it!”

There are many, many versions of this joke that shows how math and science theories don’t quite always apply to the real world. I can just imagine these guys standing next to each other; the shooters on each side and the third guy in the middle.

Rene Descartes went into his favorite bar and the bar tender asked, “would you like your usual drink, Monsieur Descartes? ” Descartes replied, “I think not,” and promptly disappeared.

This joke exposes the fact that you can have a math-geek joke with no numbers, variables, or any math at all really. Sure, you could argue it’s a philosophy joke more than a math joke, but those two fields are linked more closely than you might think. It’s still a great example of a joke that you need to be a geek to get.

Customer: “How much is a large order of Fibonaccos?”
Cashier: “It’s the price of a small order plus the price of a medium order.”

I have several friends who still think puns are the height of humor. I can’t agree with that, but I can see that they still play an important part in the jokes of today. Here we have a great example of a math-based pun. Can you guess how much the extra-large order costs? How great to only need to put prices on the first two menu items!

Q: Why do computer programmers confuse Halloween and Christmas?
A: Because 31 Oct = 25 Dec.

This is by far my favorite programming joke. There’s just something truly elegant about something entirely non-contrived that just happens to mean something both to those who use the Julian calendar as well as those of us who deal in non-decimal bases.

There they are, some classic examples of the “geek joke”. I hope you’ve found at least one you hadn’t heard before and maybe even chuckled a little. As far as I know, all of these jokes are public domain, so feel free to treat them as your own. Keep in mind, however, that you may want to choose your audience carefully; a joke that needs explaining is hardly ever funny. Please feel free to post your own jokes in the comments; I’d love to read them.

The Count

12 comments to Classical Geek jokes

  • Dmitry

    Here is one from the kindergarten:

    Why did 6 ran away from 7 ?

    Because 7 8 9 …

    Ha ha.

  • Yes, another classic math joke. Though it doesn’t take much geekiness to understand. 😛

  • Squinky

    One atom collides with another:

    “Are you all right?”
    “Yes, but I think I lost an electron.”
    “Are you sure?”
    “I’m positive!”

  • Nick

    Werner Heisenberg gets pulled over for speeding.
    Cop asks: “Do you know how fast you were going?”
    Heisenberg answers: “No, but I know exactly where I am.”

  • Yes, another great geek joke, very much along the lines of the Descartes one above.

  • Zivivi

    I would love to change the World but they won’t give me the source code…

  • That’s a new one on me. Nice!

  • Another great post as always thanks I really had a hard time with math throughout grade school. Finding a nearby tutor rescued me.

  • Bruce Harrison

    “Q: Why do computer programmers confuse Halloween and Christmas?
    A: Because 31 Oct = 25 Dec.”

    This is also an example of a visual joke. Try telling it (:

  • I do! You’re right, it is harder to get just by hearing it, but the only people I know who would get it can also do that stuff in their heads. 😛

  • Derekd

    Fractal Fairy Tale

    A young married couple of five years decided to seek counseling in order to improve their communication.
    After a few sessions the Dr. figured it was time to employ Rorschach.
    At the second session of looking at images, things started to reverse from their previous successes.
    The following conversation took place;

    Doctor: Mary, tell me what you see here.
    Mary: I see two swans that are very fond of each other.
    Doctor: Very good. John, tell us what you see.
    John: I see the Mandelbrot set.
    Mary: See what I mean, Doctor?
    Doctor: Yes, we are making progress. He used to see Maxwell’s Demon.

  • mookiemu

    A geek pick-up line:
    I’m sine, you’re cosine, together we are one.

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